Examples of life

One day it’s going to fall on your head.

Every thing F#@%ing rusts.

What the river giveth, it also taketh away

This week has been a blur, like parts of both images. You see, depth of field and what it means sums up my life pretty well.  There are things I can keep in pin point focus, but others are out of focus. Sometimes, most everything is out of focus.   That scares me.  I am a detail person, in fact it is part of my personality.  I’m not the kind of person that worries about all the details when I am doing something, but I notice all the details of everything around me.  Except when I don’t.  When I am hyper-focused.  When I am preoccupied.  When my reality is dangerous and I can’t control it. I begin to miss details.  I am aware of this, but I can do nothing to change it. I begin to lose the one thing that has gotten me so far in life, and it scares me. I fear missing the details, I fear missing something important that will give me an edge. 

I fear losing my mind.